An Olfactory Extravaganza!

Today my office smells like farts. It’s really quite unpleasant. There’s some construction work going on behind our building and I suspect the odour is coming from there. Anyway, I’m not about to close my window because then it would be too hot.

My nose was assaulted yesterday as well when my landlord decided to mow the lawn. Living in the basement, my one window is at ground level, so when he passed by with the lawn mower, the stench of gasoline instantly filled my entire place!

Speaking of smells, I can’t believe the debate that is going on now in Ottawa. Apparently, some people are trying to form a campaign to ban perfume and scented deodorant! I mean, come ON, aren’t there more important issues to consider than the way people smell? Honestly, I’m much more bothered by the people who don’t wear deodorant and perfume and reek of BO. Now that’s what ought to be banned! I just can’t believe that there’s a group out there that’s trying to take away my right to smell nice! Sure not everyone is going to like my perfume as much as I do, but I don’t bathe in it so it can’t be offensive. Hmm, maybe I will bathe in perfume in protest of this stupid movement.

They’re saying that “sensitive people” and asthmatics can’t cope with the wafting smells. Well you know what? Some people can’t cope with peanuts and they’re not banned. In fact, peanut allergies are often deadly. “Perfume allergies” are not. Sorry folks.

So while we’re banning perfume, I would also like to ban farts and lawn mowers. Because they smell bad, too.